I'm over him, but I'm not over how cruelly he handled things. How to rebuild self esteem?

2022.01.25 11:33 Lanky_Rhubarb_8321 I'm over him, but I'm not over how cruelly he handled things. How to rebuild self esteem?

I've always been a very guarded person, but this last guy made me open up in ways that I haven't with anyone in a long time. I have an abuse history and CPTSD, and when I got with this guy I was still in a state of chronic dissociation. I couldn't feel the emotion of sadness whatsoever until about 4 months ago, at which point a balloon popped in my psyche and I cried every day for 2 months. (I'd been warned by a therapist that this would eventually happen, and was told it was a good thing, but it did NOT feel good)
I reassured him that it wasn't his problem and that I understood if he wanted to end it and pick up where we left off later. I let him know that it wasn't his responsibility to get me through this. He told me he'd stick by my side and that he understood what I was going through because his mom had a similar history to mine. Slowly, though, his behavior toward me started to change. I got out of the depressive phase, but by the end of it I felt incredibly judged by him. Mind you, I rarely even let him know what was going on with me or bothered him about it. He Facetimed me once and noticed tears on my pillow, but that was it.
Cut to about a month ago. I'd ended it with him because of something totally unrelated, and he hadn't taken it very well. We'd agreed to stay in each other's lives as friends and he told me that he "wanted me to be a part of his life always." So I wasn't calling him or texting him everyday or anything, but maybe once a week or so. Then out of nowhere he calls me and picks a huge fight with me.
He told me that the only difference my absence from his life made was the amount of sex he was having (which was just an evil thing to say because I'd admitted to him that I have a deep-seated fear that I've never mattered to anyone, which is based in my sexual history...starting way too young), he called me stupid and clueless, he told me I disgusted him, then he said "fuck you" to me and blocked me. I wasn't bothering him. I wasn't calling or texting him. I have no idea why he said these terrible things to me and it's been hard to not internalize his clear hatred of me. Telling me that he thought it was best we don't talk anymore would've done the trick. He didn't have to degrade me like that...clearly that's how he actually thought of me.
It's honestly disturbing to me that someone could know about my history of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and still speak to me that way totally unprovoked. He was so, so kind in the beginning. Said all the right things. Reassured me. Made me feel safe. Then THIS. I've talked to my therapist about him, and he said that the red flags were probably there, but that I couldn't see them because I've learned to deactivate my fear response. This is not exactly reassuring for forming relationships going forward. I mean, if I literally cannot process red flags...then will I always end up with these monsters? The problem is me, right?
Anyway, any tips to regain self-esteem after someone trashes it? I could pass him on the street and not feel a thing, but he did a number on how I feel about myself.
Thanks.
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2022.01.25 11:33 Big-Significance-491 Rutina Intensa de Cardio - Anabella Galeano

Rutina Intensa de Cardio - Anabella Galeano submitted by Big-Significance-491 to onlyxx10 [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 Yoinko1 Mouse Scipping Scrolls

Hey everyone,
I have a Steelseries Sensei 10. I have had it for a couple of years now and it has been working perfectly. However, a couple of days ago, my mouse started to have this issue where when I scroll up or down, it scrolls down by itself a bit. It happens very frequently. Can anyone help?
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2022.01.25 11:33 vivab0rg Roberto Cachanosky: "Con este nivel de emisión monetaria el blue a $219 es barato"

Roberto Cachanosky: submitted by vivab0rg to argentina [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 BhagtChuneshDas madad, hazrat ali, imam hussain, karbala, imam ali, ya hussain, najaf, sadqa, kalma, deen

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2022.01.25 11:33 truthofafrica Barça : déjà des désaccords entre Ansu Fati et la direction à cause de son refus de se faire opérer

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2022.01.25 11:33 Zodiion Well. That was quite a match.

Well. That was quite a match. submitted by Zodiion to HuntShowdown [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 ZendenHo $DELTA | FUSE | Underrated Gem On Fuse Network… 10% reflections in USD to holders💎 | LP locked | Ownership Renounced🔥

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2022.01.25 11:33 coomster100 I'm not like other girls.

I have a penis and I am a boy.
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2022.01.25 11:33 hsuhduh [Pricecheck] uny combat armor, marine, scout, and more. Worth anything?

[Pricecheck] uny combat armor, marine, scout, and more. Worth anything?
https://preview.redd.it/4opbqkfihud81.png?width=344&format=png&auto=webp&s=9510d8d4a196110007eacd48423d2fd8d774e973
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2022.01.25 11:33 warden976 Those of you who got along with your siblings as children, how do you feel about them now that you’re an adult?

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2022.01.25 11:33 onlypleasure666 Dymorfizm płciowy

Witam ma ktoś z was podręcznik z anatomii/ dzieło naukowe omawiający w sposób dokładny dymorfizm płciowy u człowieka?
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2022.01.25 11:33 kanyezi Snow forecasts have been such a tease lately.

Snow forecasts have been such a tease lately. submitted by kanyezi to ColoradoSprings [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 TheWizzr NIO Price Predictions - NIO Stock Analysis for Tuesday, January 25th

NIO Price Predictions - NIO Stock Analysis for Tuesday, January 25th submitted by TheWizzr to StockInvest [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 TFoiA_tAtA crosshair won go away

https://imgur.com/GrDXCdJ
i have installed a custom crosshair addon a long time ago, its uninstalled now, it wont go away, i dont remember the name so cant find it back on workshop, i have tried using console command but it works as a layer so any crosshair related command doesnt help, any suggestions aould be nice
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2022.01.25 11:33 acharney9517 How do drunk drivers end up going the wrong way on express ways?

I understand that when you get extremely drunk you’re judgement and everything is impaired. I’ve also never driven drunk. But I would think they would notice right? I just wanna know how it happens and maybe if it’s related to how much you drink.
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2022.01.25 11:33 kitan3000 I'm confused, how is Szoboszlai THAT much better than Reyna? Reyna looks better overall besides maybe the weak foot. Reyna is also higher OVR

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2022.01.25 11:33 vyKing27 Angelic Jo

Angelic Jo submitted by vyKing27 to VS_Sexiest_League [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 Kitchen_Reference983 Case of the missing merchants

Case of the missing merchants Made two trade companies with >50% province power, which gave me two new merchants, but I couldn't find them anywhere (R5: the tooltip shows 0/9 available, but then lists +11 merchants total).
They appeared some time later when I made another trade company, or I guess because a month had passed?
https://preview.redd.it/ciw2yrzpgud81.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5ca90fdfde144ef0b75d61fd6bdb92e63fe4e0b
submitted by Kitchen_Reference983 to eu4 [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 Healthy-Wash-9921 Fellow chefs, what the fuck do I do now?

So. We hire a new salad girl. I bet you can guess where this is going. I’m gonna skip to the good part. After she comes over and we “talk business” everything is fine and going smoothly. The next day her boyfriend comes into the fucking restaurant. (Never told me she was in a relationship) nor did she tell me she has BPD as well as depression and all this shit and she’s clearly bipolar and all this happened because I got a little too trigger happy if you know what I mean. Now she expects to make out mid rush in the cooler and all this and obviously both of us aren’t going to quit. What the fuck do I do chefs? I’m obviously not trying to have a situationship with our crazy salad chick
Any advice to make things less weird at work?
submitted by Healthy-Wash-9921 to KitchenConfidential [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 chrisdh79 Teens who are “addicted” to TikTok experience worse depression and anxiety, and in turn, reduced working memory capacity

Teens who are “addicted” to TikTok experience worse depression and anxiety, and in turn, reduced working memory capacity submitted by chrisdh79 to psychology [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 Evpiek 3NRI - Story

3NRI - Story submitted by Evpiek to PromoteYourMusic [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 StarTheHusky has anyone else seen the tetyys.com secret or is it just me?

I was messing around with the voices and when I got to male voice 5 it said "oh! looks you found the secret! the secret is the abandoned state, the RAVO" instead of what I put in the text box.
anyone know what it is?
submitted by StarTheHusky to questions [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 MemoryTM I think I dodged a bullet.

I think I dodged a bullet. submitted by MemoryTM to memes [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 11:33 dzsjb Unprotected sex and plan b

So I had unprotected sex on Sunday and today (Tuesday). If I take plan B today will it prevent pregnancies from both times?
submitted by dzsjb to birthcontrol [link] [comments]


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