My mother (F69) refuses to change her cooking habits that are killing both her and my father (M71)

2021.10.19 01:19 halfmoonlady My mother (F69) refuses to change her cooking habits that are killing both her and my father (M71)

I (F26) really need advice on this. A bit of background. My father has stage 4 chronic kidney disease (severe), heart failure and diabetes which are all contributing to major health complications. He will need to go on dialysis sometime in the next year or so and then hopefully he will be put on a kidney transplant list. Because transplants are such a shock to one's system, hospitals require patients to be under a 35 BMI to ensure they're healthy enough to survive the surgery and recover. Currently, he is sitting at a BMI of 43.
Ever since I was young I have worried about my parent's health. They were dairy farmers and cheesemakers, so rich, salty food is all they know. The older they get, the harder it seems for them to make a change and this perplexes me and causes me and my siblings a lot of stress. I want my dad to lose weight so he can get on the transplant list and I'd also like for my mom to be more supportive since she does most of the cooking. I have spent so many hours explaining to her the importance of cutting way back on salt, fats, and the excessive protein they have in their diet, I think I make a little progress and she feels more motivated to change, but them when I come home to visit, nothing has changed. I get so frustrated with her because I start to see her lack of motivation as the cause of my dad's untimely death. I picture a future where he is gone and there's nothing but resentment for my mother and her decisions. Both of them are morbidly obese, and it feels like I'm trying to change two food addicts. Mom mom has always used food to cope and when I get angry and frustrated with her she just shuts down. Obviously, I don't need to be another source of stress in their life, so I'm here for any amount of advice on how I can help.
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2021.10.19 01:19 SmartPersan Bloody Puddles Chimps with PMFC and THE TUBE

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2021.10.19 01:19 hannahlemp Celebrity Guest Stars

After Sting and Jimmy Fallon guest starring as themselves, who would you guys like to see make an appearance in season 2?
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2021.10.19 01:19 WNR308160 Raise to $17 ?

I heard from a coworker that we are (at least my store ) getting raised to $17 up from $15 starting. Another coworker said he believes it’ll be happening in March. Anyone has more info on this ?
If it matters, I work at a Michigan Warehouse.
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2021.10.19 01:19 yomcgriddle girlfriend ended our relationship. I am broken.

I don't know why I am posting this here. I feel like writing down and articulating one's pain can be therapeutic so maybe thats why, but I also am just kind of lost right now and maybe some strangers can offer wisdom. Here goes.
We dated for a little over 2 years. I loved her, and still do love her, very much. We were very close friends for about a year before we started dating and we had moved in together with two other people in our friend group. I had had a huge crush on her for months at that point and I guess she felt the same, and then one thing led to another and we had begun a relationship.
I know. Starting out a relationship living together sounds like a recipe for disaster, but despite all that we were okay. We simply just loved each other. We only lived together for about a year when we had made the decision to try living in different places with our friends because we really had our whole lives to live together and only a certain amount of time to live with friends. I moved to a different house with some of my buddies and while this was hard for us at first, it eventually became okay.
If I could write about the whole story of our relationship (the good parts, the hard parts, etc) I would, but I want to condense it for your sake. Below is what is important to know.
Throughout our relationship, she always had her bouts with depression, anxiety, PTSD (from being sexually assaulted a few years before). When we lived together, there were some hard times. I never understood what true depression looked like until I saw it in her. There were a few months where she seemed to be simply not there. She would lay in bed for days at a time and seemed just simply dead inside. I will spare you the details but you get the idea. All I knew to do was lay by her side and be there for her. It wasn't always like that though, we had some really great times.
But still, her mental health was always a struggle. At a certain point, she had really seemed to change. She had always talked about our future together (marriage, kids, etc), and then she sporadically told me she wasn't so sure about any of that. She began to treat me differently after that. She just seemed less and less happy. We would have times that were good and she seemed to love me and that she was happy, but it would change again. There was little to no consistency. She just seemed less and less happy being with me, and she seemed to love me a little less every day. I tried talking about this with her and communicating all the time and she would always attribute it to her mental health.
Finally, on Wednesday night, it all came to a head. She told me that she was lost and didn't know what she wanted in life. She was persistent that it wasn't me and that she loved me, but she wanted to figure out life on her own and find happiness as an individual.
It's a universal truth that breakups are very hard. I know that. But this is what makes it really, really hard in my case: All I ever did was love her. Nobody can take that away from me. There is a scene in Malcolm in the middle, where Jane is upset about how Hal insists that he loves her more than she loves him, and Hal says "well of course I love you more, if you loved me as much as I love you we would never leave the bedroom, we would never get anything done." (paraphrasing that of course) and that embodies what my love for her is like. I tried everything within my power to be the best partner to her that I could be. The night we broke up, she told me it wasnt fair to me that she couldn't reciprocate that.
What makes this so hard is that throughout the whole relationship, I just wanted her to be happy. Making her happy was simply the greatest thing in the world for me. The hard part is that if you look back throughout this post, you can easily see that I am the common denominator in her unhappiness. I just simply didn't make her happy enough. I think back throughout our relationship and I can think of more times when she wasn't happy, and fewer times when she was. I can think of more times when she seemed happy to be with her friends and fewer times when she was with me. I always just thought it was her mental health issues, and maybe it was, but ultimately I just simply was not enough.
I just want her to be happy still. This is so hard because I miss her so, so much. I want her to come back so badly, but at the same time if she did come back and wanted to try again, I now realize that she would eventually become unhappy again. It comforts me to know that she will be happy some day, and that this is a necessary step towards finding that. I just get a really shitty end of the bargain because I dont think i can recall a time in my life where I was sadder. I feel broken. My heart is empty, and when I actually feel something it is an aching pain. The world has lost its previous beauty to me. Everything looks different. I walk differently, think differently, talk differently. Different isnt always bad, but this one seems to be bad. I know I have to move on, but I dont want to. I miss her so fucking badly.
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2021.10.19 01:19 currentlytired123 where can i find a high quality (but not too expensive) college counselor?

title
i used to have an INCREDIBLE college counselor at my school who understood my motivations and goals as far as college goes. he would answer all of my nitpicky questions and was honestly just so great. he had a very high success rate too.
then he got promoted, and now he is gone :(
we have a new counselor, and she is pretty new, and though i do recognize that she is still adapting to the new environment, sometimes her answers can be a bit vague. in sum, i feel like i could be getting better help.
i can still contact my old counselor via email, but it takes a looooooong while for him to respond (even if you follow up a couple of times) and i don't think i can keep that up throughout this year and senior year. plus, i don't want to bother him at his new position.
does anyone know where i can find a high-quality, but not overly expensive (or manipulative, as I have heard in some cases) college counselor? basically someone who i can trust throughout the college process.
thank you!
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2021.10.19 01:19 SuperalloyDarkshine0 Being 19 in this sub is like being a parent who awkwardly tries to fit in with his or her child's friend group.

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2021.10.19 01:19 Bobbo_Blobbo Dearest Redditors, what’s the thing you had to hear most when you were at your lowest?

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2021.10.19 01:19 Civil_Experience2152 Was growing my hair out and impulsively cut it all off

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2021.10.19 01:19 Apart_Copy2511 Not funny, cried 🗿

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2021.10.19 01:19 echo_vasc-sono_333 Good question Professor Lloyd...

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2021.10.19 01:19 PleaseStand_By Halloween Colors

I really hope they release some halloween colors this year like green purple and black, since that seems to be their theme for halloween. I don't know why they havent already released these colors but it'd be pretty epic if they did.
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2021.10.19 01:19 Nimfili Photo ID help

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2021.10.19 01:19 JMetropolis_ All set up in my new house!

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2021.10.19 01:19 noobmister69 Biker Intrepid

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2021.10.19 01:19 excelsior127 Reduced Aid Help

Long story short, I dropped 2 classes because of mental health and subsequently my aid dropped because I need to complete 12 credits every semester.
I've only emailed advising and financial aid, but from any of you guys, what are my options? Is it possible to add a class this late or am I likely screwed?
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2021.10.19 01:19 californiagunguy Anyone here running a switch panel? Looking for best mounting location.

I swooped one of [these](ALAVENTE 8 Gang Universal Switch Controller Panel, Dimmable Electronic Relay Automatic System LED Car Switch Button Touch Screen Circuit Control Box, for Car Truck SUV ATV UTV RV Boat(Blue) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08SM81DK5/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_FW8BF2QVRVKFSJNNAS66?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1) and I’m searching for the best mounting location. The panel comes with an angled bracket and a flat bracket for installation. Any recommendations for the location?
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2021.10.19 01:19 Elegant_Ranger1320 Music exchanging

Anybody wanna exchange playlists? 🤷🏾‍♂️
Here’s mine
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2021.10.19 01:19 Its_RickySpanish "International shipment release - Import" stuck since Sunday, was supposed to be delivered today

Im expecting an international priority package and it just went through one of the facilities in Indianapolis. Its supposed to be scheduled for delivery today but it still hasn't shown any movement after going through customs.
This was the recent update from Sunday around midnight;
INDIANAPOLIS, IN International shipment release - Import
Anyone else getting delays for packages coming through the Indianapolis facility???
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2021.10.19 01:19 LilPeep1k “Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure” - George Carlin

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2021.10.19 01:19 nirvana13a Rate my setup

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2021.10.19 01:19 klm_58 Alpine F1's poster for the US Grand Prix 😎

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2021.10.19 01:19 Personal_Ninja_9597 u/Still_ suffering Challenge

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2021.10.19 01:19 InsomniaDiscord Editing myself into a meme everyday for 100 days Day #15

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2021.10.19 01:19 Radrican420 [IC Cup - Africa - MD3] Candice Swanepoel (S. Africa) vs Lupita Nyong'o (Kenya)

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